I have an affinity for barns.
That came out sounding way too formal. Let’s start over.
I love barns. I have a thing for them. I have no idea why. Maybe it’s… no. I’m not even going to try to figure it out. I don’t need to.
But one thing is true that I will share. They make me feel safe.
I didn’t grow up on a farm and there’s no logical reason. They just do.
And I can never get away from the word “storehouse” when I think of trying to name a barn painting.
There are two words put together. I never saw that till just now. Store. House. If I wrote the emotions both words contain, it would be wonderfully rich.
But I’ll let you make your own list.
Sheesh. I’m circling the barn, right now, trying to get up the nerve to tell you about a daydream I had today standing at the kitchen sink.
I think in pictures, so I won’t call this a vision because I’m not sure if I’d know if I really had one.
So if I say, “I imagined” or “I saw” or “I heard these colors” or “it appeared to me” – well, they are all wrapped up together and I can’t separate them without some concentrated effort.
So, I’m just going to tell you about it the best I can.
I was in a storeroom. There was a happy attendant there to meet me. A kind of servant/master all at once. Though I can’t describe them. God was there as well, or maybe the attendant was God? I don’t know, but we were all talking.
The treasures were the most spectacular array of jewels and went on far beyond anything I could personally ever need, wear or spend. It was endless.
In my dream, I came here often – was welcome to come daily - and there were always things close by that they knew I would personally like. There were amazing works of art meant for me to take and enjoy, put to good use, feel good about wearing and feel beautiful in. I could wear sapphires and diamonds with my jeans and sweatshirt and they wouldn’t care – at all. But they definitely did care if I took them or not. If I were to let self-loathing or depression or doubt of my worth block me from coming, taking, wearing, ENJOYING them…somehow I knew that was the danger of an eternal travesty.
This was not a discussion. I just knew it, somehow, just by standing there with such generosity and love. They attended not to keep me or you out, or to guard the hoard. Just the opposite. They attended to help you chose something you’d truly love that would help you remember who you were.
But here’s what overcame me today. There was so, so much. I saw things my friends would love. I asked if I could take absolutely anything. They smiled a conspiratorial consent and waited. There were emeralds there, clustered and clean and sparkling with priceless craftsmanship…and love.
This is for R, isn’t it? Could I take it with me and give it to her?
There was a stunning solitaire circled with regal diamonds for S.
There was a diamond teardrop necklace with matching earrings for T with tiny rubies at the top of each.
I knew what they each meant.
R’s emeralds, set in interlinking gold, formed a bracelet that I know would seem to float on her wrist, accenting those caring hands of hers, always reaching out to others the way she does. It was a reminder of a far more priceless treasure: she will never be alone. The attendants of the storehouse would make sure she always had the relationships she needs for each day. She would never need to worry.
S’s stunning solitaire was a long pendant necklace. A conversation starter. An open door into unending reflections of the love of Jesus. She could spend her whole life trying to count the facets of His love for her and never even come close. And she would get to share a facet here, a facet there with each person who admired it. It was so blue, I thought it might be a pale sapphire, but I think now that it must have been a diamond.
T thought the teardrops were her own, but they were His. Holy Spirit cries with and for us and will not let us escape love, though it seems actually violent in its strength at times. But this “violence” is the force that rolled the stone away from the tomb. Caused the earthquake and tore the veil. Broke the gates of hell. All pure love. The rubies were the drops of Jesus’ blood. One drop would be enough to redeem the world, yet He spent it all. Water and blood flow mingled down… oh the wonderful cross!
But He is no longer in pain and wanted her to be with Him in his weightlessness, having taken all that sin on the cross, He rose from it – and having received the JOY set before Him, for her. He is not still on the cross.
But one thing was perfectly and peacefully clear. I wasn’t to be their source! The treasures I would deliver to them were only a sample of what was waiting for them as they came on their own!
Then I kept seeing beyond. It was limitless! I was aching to grab arms full and run out to all the people I knew and deliver each design to each person.
“Those are not for TODAY.” I wasn’t being corrected. It was by way of letting me understand. They were happy with my desires, but the honor of obedience carried a beauty all its own. I was to rest in it and not worry. But I did get to take those three pieces. Well, four counting my own.
Mine was a simple design. The kind of simple that takes your breath away. It was a constellation of sapphire and diamonds. There was one focal sapphire and one focal diamond set just above and to the right of it. Then the other smaller stones floated in a seemingly random way around it. The necklace was called “True North” and flooded me with peace as I put it on my neck. The clasp design was amazing. I knew I could even swim in it and not worry about losing it.
And then I was back with my dirty mixing bowls from making granola. I might as well have been a princess.
Such an unexpected gift. I was completely tear brimming thankful for hours after.
I love you TODAY! But Someone loves you MORE!
Love,
©2020 Lydia D Crouch
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