Why can't I ask?

I'm in a fabulous mentoring group called Created to Thrive. It's part of Matt Tommey Mentoring and I could market, promote, sell, testify about this group all day long.

But I totally chafe at marketing myself! Anyone? I KNOW I'm not alone on this, especially as a Christian who is expected to walk in humility.

Yet, today, as we were learning how to build a strong website, the step about a "call to action" always made me feel slightly sick to my stomach.

Why can't I ask for participation? Do I feel my work is not worth purchasing? Do I feel like I - as a person, as me - am not worth investing in? Do have have to get to pro level before I can justify selling my work? WHY CAN'T I ASK?

This morning, I got my answer! I actually half yelled, "That's it!" (Not normal for me.)

It's not that I doubt my worth. In the group, the foundation courses are about heart and mind. I experienced SO much breakthrough in identity, leaving perfectionism, accepting that God not only loves me but likes me... So my worth is a gift and I'm happy growing into that.

It's not that I doubt my work these days. Over the past couple of years painting live in the Dorsey Fine Art Studio, I have gradually found my song on canvas. The last 3-4 paintings have sold literally before the paint dried. And acrylic paint dries quickly. I've been completely and thoroughly blessed, amazing and sweetly shocked.

Should I not ask people to purchase or participate in workshops? We're getting warmer... Asking them to take action as if I had the answer they need.

As we went through the steps, I realized I was really uncomfortable about promoting myself as someone who can meet someone else's need.

There it is.

But WHY?!

The meeting ended and I walked to the kitchen asking, "Lord, why is this such a hangup for me?"