Standing on my box


Me: (to anyone in earshot) Is your wifi working?

Three of us are home all day needing to work. Our work is all online. Plus my mom is in her studio apartment with youtube and a puzzle as her only entertainment. Our wifi is all kinds of bad words I won’t say out loud or put in print. And there’s no other option on our road. The company has basically told us we’re on the bottom of the totem pole and it really won’t get better so suck it up and quit calling. My next-door neighbor is a lawyer. I asked if it was just our house or what? He laughed and said, “My wife now forbids me to call them anymore.” I’m therefore assuming we don’t have any legal action available either.

Me: Arrrgh. This is literally impossible.

Laina: (singing) “Impossible things are happening every day…”

Me: (proclaiming with one arm up like Lady Liberty) “Do not be discouraged!” That’s what the Bible says.

Both of us in unison: They didn’t have wifi in the Bible.

We chuckle, but it’s not really funny.

I walk away for a minute just to reframe my thoughts. Feeling oddly justified at being discouraged in a way the writers of the scriptures didn’t face, I soon felt that sick feeling I get when I know I’m headed toward the first rung of the “Down” staircase.

I wonder what they DID get discouraged about…running out of nibs? Their feather splitting? Having to go pick berries and mash them to make ink when they ran out? Having to write in hiding in a dark cave somewhere for fear of getting arrested for writing about Jesus? Yeah, I guess this isn’t so bad.

I have to think differently. How can I organize my day so that I get my wifi needs prioritized so that I can use it when my signal is strong?

Ideas:

I can draft my blog in Word and post it later.

I can check my email and fb early in the morning before everyone is up, maybe ask for a slot of family curtesy mid-day for the same.

I can use some Instagram planner and work ahead maybe.

I can paint at the worst wifi times of day if I screen shot my reference photos.

Honestly, not all good ideas work. But the only choice I have is to change because the wifi isn’t going to change no matter how mad I get that I’m paying the same fee that people with good coverage are paying.

It has limited my life. Yes. I can’t receive emails in any reliable order. I can’t have an online art show. I can’t do live facebook or IG videos. I can’t load youtube videos from home. I can’t host mastermind calls for my mentoring group. I can’t take webinars at peek hours.

So, I have to take this box I’m in, climb out of it, and stand on top of it somehow. See from above it. Find new options.

But that’s the cool thing about how the human brain is designed! We can think about ourselves from outside ourselves.

We’ve got these amazing imaginations. We use them 24/7! But we have to choose! We GET to choose!

Some of us use our imaginations to envision how awful things will be and how nothing will work in the future. But I’m working on using my imagination to see from the top of the box.

I won’t say I’m good at it.

But, here’s the deal. I can change that too! I can learn. I can renew the way my thoughts work. People overcome stuff every day. So can I.

I’m pretty excited now. I’m drafting this on word and then I’ll copy and paste and post.

I may have to get up earlier. We’ll see.

But if you are reading this, then you’ll know something worked. And maybe you’ll get some ideas for your quarantined life.

In the meantime, as we used to say in the South where I grew up, “Don’t lose your salvation over it.!” (whatever your ‘it’ is…)

Love,

Lydia C

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