Most of the time, I'm pretty confident about this path I'm on. I love making art in almost any form. I LOVE being a student! I've been taking classes at Acrylic University, picking house colors, picking up new skills from Kate Thompson's class at Jeanne Oliver's website. (I'll put links at the bottom so you can join me if you want.)
I've been hanging out in Marian's tutorials at Miss Mustard Seed. One person commented that she has kept her personal color palette over the years. She keeps it fresh, but it's so awesome to follow someone who actually knows what they love and continues to delight us with all its variations!
This was comforting. I will always have some sort of similar palette in my work. I used to feel bad. But now I realize, I just really like it.
And this past week, when I was wondering if I was doing ok at the studio that seemed oh so covid quiet, I was told I'm selling as well as anyone ever has up in The Loft at Camano Commons (which has been several other art galleries in the past.)
So why do I doubt?
Are you anything like me? Afraid to rest in goodness? Do your doubts make you wonder if you'll ever get off the treadmill? You keep circling the same mountain of "am I worth...?" until you're dizzy and one leg is shorter than the other from doing the same things and getting the same results?
If you're a Jesus follower, you're seeing this message everywhere you turn lately: "The battle is in your mind. You must learn to renew your mind and take your thoughts captive if you want to see lasting change." And this is absolutely true!
But why is it so dang hard?
And why, when things are actually doing really well, do I get derailed so easily?
I have one particular rut that I'm trying to get the thoughts of Christ on. It's the rut that twists my ankle when I try to catch my stride and settle in for the long run rather than the sprint. It's that habit of choosing to eat sugar when I feel paralyzed or when I simply just don't know what to do next.
Yes, I have lists. I have goal setting worksheets. I have accountability friends. But what if I'm choosing the wrong priority?