I could be depressed, but...

Updated: Oct 23, 2019

This time of year is hard for me to not get depressed. I live where the rain rules the season. My brother died on September 18 when I was 13 and his birthday is October 26.


I cycle.


HOWEVER, I do not have to let old ghosts come to the table. Depression is someone who used to be a regular guest at my table.


In fact, so was anxiety.


I was standing in the family room recently, having anxious thoughts. The Lord said, "Why are entertaining anxiety?" I was kind of shocked. I thought I was fighting anxiety.


"What do you mean?"


He said, "You feed anxiety with your best food. You give anxiety your time, your emotions, your thoughts, your undivided focus and attention." I immediately could see it there. I was giving anxiety the best from my table.


Lightbulb moment.


Uncertain of where to go from the revelation that I host anxiety (and depression) like honored guests, even family, I asked, "What do you do with them?"


He said, "They have no place at my table. I do not feed them. I only invite you."


Psalm 23 made sense to me. I remember Bill Johnson talking about this in a youtube video. "You set a table for me in the presence of my enemies." There, in the worst of circumstances, Jesus sets a table for two. We can have undivided fellowship. The enemy has no choice but to have to stand by and watch.



sketch for Inktober 2019. The prompt today is "ghost". I found it appropriate that our past tormentors have no power at his table.


That's an amusing picture of victory to me.


But my AH HAH at this moment, as I blog at 6:20 a.m. the day before I leave for a conference which I have been VERY anxious about (what to wear, the weight of art supplies in my suitcase, will my friend going for the first time love it as much as I do... on and on..) - at this moment, I have a choice!


I can sit in this dangerous valley and the table is set before me. BUT if I don't invite and focus on Jesus, the one who sets the table, then the enemy is all too ready to take his seat at the table and "fellowship" with me!


So if you will excuse me, I have dinner reservations at a table set for two.


love,


Lydia C







©Lydia D Crouch 2019


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