I could be depressed, but...

Updated: Oct 23, 2019

This time of year is hard for me to not get depressed. I live where the rain rules the season. My brother died on September 18 when I was 13 and his birthday is October 26.


I cycle.


HOWEVER, I do not have to let old ghosts come to the table. Depression is someone who used to be a regular guest at my table.


In fact, so was anxiety.


I was standing in the family room recently, having anxious thoughts. The Lord said, "Why are entertaining anxiety?" I was kind of shocked. I thought I was fighting anxiety.


"What do you mean?"


He said, "You feed anxiety with your best food. You give anxiety your time, your emotions, your thoughts, your undivided focus and attention." I immediately could see it there. I was giving anxiety the best from my table.


Lightbulb moment.


Uncertain of where to go from the revelation that I host anxiety (and depression) like honored guests, even family, I asked, "What do you do with them?"


He said, "They have no place at my table. I do not feed them. I only invite you."


Psalm 23 made sense to me. I remember Bill Johnson talking about this in a youtube video. "You set a table for me in the presence of my enemies." There, in the worst of circumstances, Jesus sets a table for two. We can have undivided fellowship. The enemy has no choice but to have to stand by and watch.



sketch for Inktober 2019. The prompt to