This is not the final art for my book cover, but I needed something to show the publisher what I have in mind.
This is a blog about waiting.
Do you have something you feel so compelled to do? Is it foreign to you? Have you waited SO LONG for it that your emotions are almost detached at this point from your dream?
I really don't have a single friend who has ever said to me, "I just love it when I pray for things and God says WAIT."
But I'm waiting for two things before I can send it.
I'm waiting on an endorsement. And I'm waiting to hear what the cost will actually be even though I've already paid the baseline to self publish it. I have a contract, but this book doesn't quite fit ANY format I can sign for. The manuscript is sitting.
I feel like I'm in the beginning stages of labor. The contractions are far apart. We're not at the hospital (publisher) yet. But the contractions are the real deal and there is no turning back now. We're in it.
The funny thing is, I feel SO compelled to keep writing. I have children's books, blogs, devotionals, stories, all in my heart. I almost feel like if this dear little book ever gets birthed, others will follow. Who's to say?
When I waited for Rich to enter my life, I thought I'd scream if God said "Wait" to me one more time. I was in my 30's and meeting and dating lots of fabulous guys. But in general, my strengths tended to overwhelm them. I had tried the chameleon approach of trying to only show what would match up with the current circumstance. But the moment I began to relax and show my true colors I would hear, "I was just thinking I knew you, but you have this whole other side."
And the sad thing was that the "other side" was my best me.
I was so frustrated at one point that I went out and bought 4 pieces of posters board. On each board I drew the outline of one letter per board. They pretty much covered my whole wall. The four boards spelled W.A.I.T. And then I began to fill in the letters with scriptures and wise quotes about waiting.
I began to learn that there are things that waiting is not. It is not necessarily sitting still. It is not necessarily being bored. It is not pacing up and down the boardwalk waiting waiting for the train. It is not being anxious. It is not worrying that God won't answer with love. It is not the lack of doing other things while waiting.
But it IS required, if God says WAIT, that I not try to make it happen on my own. If I want His best, and he answers WAIT, then to get His best, I'm going to have to yield...and wait.
But I have learned to ask, "What would you like me to do while I wait?" Oftentimes, He gives me things to do that prepare me for the answer. Those things make me able to recognize the answer when it comes. Those things prepare my heart to fully enjoy and embrace the answer so that I can enjoy it to the fullest. Those things also help me redefine my request so that my heart is adjusted to what God knows would best satisfy my deepest longings, when I would have settled for an imitation of it.
Consequently, I knew I was home with Rich when he said, "There are so many facets to you! What else? I love it!"
But here I am waiting. My toe tapping is beginning to remind that I'm not trusting. As I write to you, it is Saturday morning and on Monday evening I will give the first public reading of a portion of this book. You're invited. Of course you are! (Details at the end)
But I am anxious. I need this book more than anyone else does. I need to be reminded that I can trust the map maker. In my short life, I can not possibly go down every road on the map. But He has highlighted a course the He knows will bring me great delight if I pop in the car and let Him drive.
So, this is me. Peeling my hands off the wheel, scooting over to the passenger seat and letting my head lean back to catch the sun on my face. I may not know where He's taking me exactly, but I love surprises. My choice now is to not miss what I see on the way.
One of my mom quotes that my kids still tease me about was from a road trip. The light over the coastline beside us was spectacular. The kids were both on devices which was fine for inner industrial territory, but THIS view they may never see again. I exclaimed, "Kids! LOOK! LOOK! This is where we are!"
So dear single girl waiting the one. Dear bride waiting for a baby. Dear job hunter trying to get noticed in your field. Dear mama of a prodigal standing at the end of the drive waiting for your child to come home. Dear newcomer to a town waiting to find a true friend. Jesus is here IN your waiting. Look for Him. If you can focus on Him, you'll turn around and see that in the end it doesn't seem like you waited hardly at all.
love,
Oh! The reading is at The Loft at Camano Commons Marketplace this Monday, Sept 16 at 5:30 pm. Four Loft authors will share about their books. You'll be able to ask them questions and I'll be there with the original paintings of 7 Dresses. The food will be delish and the event is free.
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