recalibrating

I've ordered a new journal. Leather with refillable pages. It has a place to keep my pen or pencil. It has elastic bands to hold the refills rather than binder rings. It even has a clip for watercoloring moments. The pages are 1/2 sheet size which means I can even create my own inserts!

In general, I feel bound by lined paper. Sometimes you just need to color outside the lines. A journal is that kind of place for me.

I have friends who can't stand a blank page?

What about you? Do you journal? Do you write poetry? Do you journal lists? Ideas? The past - even if it was what happened earlier today? (Feel free to comment.)

I've been aching to journal again. I mean really pour into it. I do journal, but it's been random. For me, I just haven't been able to find the right journal. Something that won't get sold out in the future, just when I was starting to love the format.

I keep looking for something that is flexible but also luxurious. Paper texture matters. Size matters. Flexibility matters.

I've been a journal girl since I was maybe 10 or 11 years old. But I've been aching for a journal to stick with me for the rest of my life. My sketchbooks where I have journaled the most are hard to take with me to a coffee shop or when traveling.

My sketch pads are horrible. I start a new one before I finish an old one so trying to organize them is, well.... Then to try to find that idea for a painting when the dates are not consecutive? Ai yi yi!

In theory, the journal I just ordered is everything I've been looking for. You see, I really don't want any more boxes and boxes or shelves and shelves of journals. Theoretically, I can pull out a section when it gets full and pop it in a file drawer. Not only will this keep it streamlined, but I can go find them by date. Also, I can do this in a way that works if the wifi goes down, or the power goes off, or the software gets outdated and I'll lose it all in a glitch? (not uncommon where we live)

Why am I telling you all this?

Because I'm recalibrating.

I am asking myself: How can I simplify this process in a way that gives me enough consistency not to have to recreate something every time, but enough flexibility to let me be creative so I don't bore myself? How I can I do this in a way that holds less visual clutter but doesn't look or feel sterile? How can I keep it functional but beautiful?

And these questions are making their way through our yard, the garage, my drawers, my studio, my thought life, my Bible Study notebook, my clothes.

I'm giving myself the summer to get launched into this new way of thinking. It may take longer, but I'm amazed already at how much freedom it produces as I clean out spaces, reorganize my routine to fit this new season, make time to breath and write. It even is loosening up my artwork in a painterly way.

"Painterly" is a term people use that refers 'loose' or less than controlled brushstrokes, It leaves room for the viewer to fill in the gaps with their own imagination. I find it to be a lot more emotional than realism. It's a LOT harder to do than you'd think! At least for me, the one who overworks in a heartbeat.

I want to journal in a "painterly" way. To leave room. Space to breathe!

But I'm not just asking these questions in a vacuum. Yes, I research. Love it. But these questions have become a conversation with the Lord. And the fun thing is, He's shown up and is delighted to guide me closer to Him even as I work it all out.

So while I am painting more, I am also more than I paint.

That's important.

This season is helping me remember that

Presence is more important that Performance. Always.

With that, I'll go see if my journal has arrived. I'll post it on socials if it's as good as I hope!

In the meantime, I feel invited to make more space for His presence. It usually improves my performance as a bi product, but that's just a bonus.

Simplify for substance!

love,

©2025 Lydia D Crouch